From tee-ball to kid-pitch...

    I was all set to write a blog about my journey through the book of Jonah that we’re diving into for our small group study. But when I sat down and started to think about where to start, I couldn’t get my mind off of my first born and his baseball season, so I figured I’d just write about that instead.

    To catch those of you up who are new, Austin loves baseball. He’s nine now, but he started playing organized t-ball when he was 4. Before that, he was hammering balls off of his Little Tikes tee that he got for his 2nd birthday. We spent his first birthday at a Braves game (when I became a fan and never looked back). It’d be an understatement to say that baseball is a huge part of our lives. Ozzie Albies makes a t-shirt that says “God. Family. Baseball.” Yep, that’s about accurate.

    Austin started playing on a travel team early in January. He’s always played first base during rec ball, occasionally was out in the outfield, and last rec season, he pitched a few innings. But after a few weeks of practices and games, his coach asked him if he’d like to try catching, because he thought he may be good at it.

    My mom heart immediately screamed, “NO!” It’s dangerous. He caught for one
inning back like…3 years ago…and got hit in the chest with a ball and I almost died. So, I was not exactly on board. But he wanted to give it a go, and if you know Austin, you know that he’ll do whatever it takes if it will help his team.

    The first practice, he did surprisingly well. I say surprisingly because while he has a good glove, it’s not easy to do anything with all of that gear on. He took pitches and they worked on blocking the ball. They worked on throwing to the pitcher to get a runner out who was stealing. He was, dare I say it, pretty impressive for a first practice. The second practice, they added a batter. This added a layer of fear because now he had to worry about getting hit by a bat. It was a little rough, but still, he did pretty good by my opinion. But I could tell he was frustrated. Still, he gave maximum effort. But he was down on himself and it broke my heart.

    Unfortunately, while Austin got some amazing qualities from his Mama (beautiful blue/green eyes, empathy and compassion for others….) he also got some of my anxiety and definitely got that whole ‘self criticism’ thing. He is his own worst enemy, he always thinks he can do better. He can get a 5 out of 6 on his Continental Math League for the month and be so mad at himself for not getting a 6 (FYI, CML is NOT easy stuff. I mean, I’m notoriously bad at math, but at 37 and using a calculator, the last one he brought home, I only scored a 5 out of 6…). So it’s no surprise to me that he’s disappointed in himself.

    It seems silly to other people because catching is the hardest spot on the field to learn and to expect him to do it well after two practices is not reasonable. But I know all too well what he’s feeling. I just don’t know what to do as a mom to make it go away because at 37, I still do this to myself. Between the genetic component and the fact that he’s always been naturally good at things (school, baseball, Lego building, making friends), he’s struggling a bit with accepting that occasionally, there is a process and sometimes it takes longer than we’d like.

    One thing that he does not struggle with is being his own hype man. When David was helping him take off his cleats after practice, a yellow Post-It popped out. David asked him what it was and he said he wrote a note to himself: “You are a good catcher. You got this. Your [sic] the best.” At first, this made me very sad because I knew it was a self-encouragement note because he was feeling disappointed in himself. But after some reflection, I feel differently. He is his own worst critic, but he’s also his own fan. Someone once told me that there is a fine line between confidence and cockiness and if you can balance it out, that attitude is what makes a great athlete. He’s got all the pieces and if he wants to continue catching, he’s going to be amazing once he learns the position. I have no doubt that he can do ANYTHING he puts his mind to. Sometimes, it might take longer or he may have to work harder than he wanted to or thought he’d have to, but in the end, the process is what’s going to bring out the talent. He’s got the heart for it, now he just has to have the patience.

    
In the meantime, I just plan to hug him (a lot), tell him I’m proud of him no matter what, and cheer for him while holding my breath from time to time when the close calls come. I’ll be there no matter what. If he’s playing first, catching, riding the bench, whatever—he can be his own fan, but I’m going to be his #1 fan. And yes, I kept that Post-It and I’m going to hold onto it until the right time presents itself to give it back to him. Maybe that’s later this season, maybe that’s in middle school, maybe it’ll be when he’s teaching his own kids to play baseball. But I’ll hold onto it, just like I’m holding onto these memories we’re making as he goes from this small 4 year old tee-baller, to this amazing 9 year old kid-pitch player.