When you're ready, get back to church.

    The other day while I was scrolling social media, I came across a post that had something to do with going to church. I don’t remember the exact title or what it said verbatim, but it basically just said that sometimes when the author doesn’t want to deal with the hassle of getting to church with all her kids, she thinks of her mother, or grandmother, who single-handedly got her seven kids to church every Sunday alone. I’ll be honest, I snorted a little, and kept scrolling.

    I have just two kids. One is mostly capable of handling himself (with some redirection from time to time), one is a baby. My husband works every other Sunday. And with COVID and a baby, there have definitely been more misses on church Sundays for me in the last two years than hits. But I feel closer to Jesus than I ever have before.

    Look, I am definitely NOT telling you to skip church. In fact, you should go. It’s good to be around others who seek Jesus, and it’s good to go listen to people who were called to teach us. But if I’m being honest, there were weeks in this past year that if I had packed up the kids and made myself go to church, I might have hit a breaking point. And I do not want to feel like I have to go to church to love Jesus, I want to WANT to go to church for Jesus.

    Here’s the flip side though. Even before COVID, before having to bundle up a baby to go solo parent at church, there were weeks when I really did not want to go. But my husband would influence me to get dressed and head out and I would sigh and give in. And guess what? Those were the weeks that I felt God speaking directly to me.

The times I don’t want to go to church are the times I need it the most.

    But, that doesn’t mean that you have to put yourself in a situation you think may be too much for you. Technology is your friend. In 2021, there are enough resources at your fingertips to be able to worship from home from time to time. We’ve watched church at home, we’ve even done kids’ church at home during the pandemic and a few times after. I think the important thing is that you spend time in God’s word and with Him, regardless of where you are. Eventually, you’ll pull yourself out and get those kids dressed, get yourself dressed, and get out of the house. And even look forward to doing it.

    Give yourself from grace. Don’t compare your life to someone else’s. Sure, maybe your grandma did get all seven kids to church by herself every single Sunday. But maybe she also broke down into tears at night after everyone was in bed because she was so overwhelmed. Who knows? Just know that God will meet you wherever you are in the meantime. God is not bound by four walls. It’s great to have fellowship, teachers and people around you to help guide you on your Jesus journey, whether inside the walls of a church, or any place else.

    My challenge to you this new year is this: if you feel like I've felt many times over the past year or so, that you just can't get yourself out of the house for a few Sundays, don't let that stand in your way of your relationship with God. Reach out to someone at your church, or someone who can help keep your focus on growing your relationship with God at home. Figure out what can help you get back to church. Maybe it's taking it a step at a time by setting your clothes out the night before to make it a little less chaotic the morning of. Maybe it's finding a friend to go along with you. Maybe it's having a conversation with your spouse on how to motivate you on Sunday mornings. Maybe it's even finding a new church to attend.

    My point is that you can give yourself grace and worship the Lord from your house for as long as you feel like you need to. But at some point, take that step back into joining others on Sunday mornings. Let God work in those relationships to help strengthen you and your community. 

    It took me a few months to get excited about Sunday mornings and going to church again, but I got there. There's no inner fight with myself any longer and even though I'm one of the least social people on the planet, I enjoy being part of the process on Sunday mornings now and just soaking in the love of our God surrounded by others who are doing the same. 

    When you’re ready to take that step back into packing up your circus on Sunday morning to leave the house, there are plenty of people waiting to greet you at your church. In the meantime, stay in God’s word, reach out for other resources, and just remember that even though sometimes you feel so lonely (even when you’ve got an 11 month old tugging on your leg and a nine year old yelling at you about some video on YouTube), you’re not alone.