God has the matches.

    Joy! The third candle of advent represents JOY. Per the dictionary, joy is a feeling of pleasure or happiness, or something that brings you happiness. It can be from success, good fortune, or a sense of well-being. One of my favorite Christmas songs is “Joy to the World.” Mash that up with “Go Tell It On the Mountain” and have my boys from Hanson belt that out acapella-style, and man, it…well…brings me JOY. Around this time of year, I tend to equate joy with just Christmas spirit. Bright lights, loud music with jingle bells in it, but you know, joy is actually a year-round thing. Joy can come from simple things, like baking cookies with your kids, or it can come from huge things, like a successful recovery from a surgery. We can see it and feel it all around at any time of the year.

    When I feel joy for what God has done in my life, it looks a lot like another emotion. There’s usually no bells playing. It usually hits me when I'm in the thick of singing a worship song and it usually results in mascara running down my face. Sometimes, it hits me when I've just fed my youngest and he's closed his beautiful blue peepers to take a nap or sleep for the night. And yes, I cry happy tears. But sometimes, I lose track of that and need help to get back there.

    The truth is, lately, it’s been hard to put words on paper. I just haven’t really felt inspired or led to write anything, or moved to spread any particular message. There have been dark moments for me lately and I’ve been blessed that at the right time, God has provided me with some matches to light my way. I haven’t been in the Christmas spirit as much this year as I have in the past, and I don’t know why that is. It’s been rough and overwhelming and exhausting. And then I feel terrible and guilty for feeling that way because I look at everything I have and everyone who loves me and I’m just like, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING? DO YOU NOT APPRECIATE THE JOY THAT IS BEING PLACED IN YOUR LIFE?” Of course I do. It’s not that simple.

    Sometimes, I just need a re-calibration. Think of me like an old GPS unit. Sometimes, I have to push everything else to the side and just turn up the music. Or drive to the Starbucks for a Peppermint Mocha and a snowman cookie. Sometimes, I just have to shut out the world for a few minutes, refocus, and then try again. And sometimes, I fail. Sometimes, it’s a success and I get everything I had on my “to do” list done and sigh in relief.

    This was NOT what I intended to write about when I sat down here at the computer. I planned to put a smile on and spit out a joyous blog about JOY. But I promised myself when I started this blog that I would be real and authentic. Well, friends, sometimes, even Mrs. Christmas has her dark moments during the holiday season. But you know what? Even in the darkness, I know I’m not alone. And that…brings me…JOY. I know that in those moments, I can feel Jesus sitting there next to me, basically patting me on the back, saying, “Take all the time you need. We’ll get through it.”

    I guess the point I’m trying to make is that if you’re not 100% joyous all the time, congratulations, you’re human. We all go through ups and downs, highs and lows, and if sometimes you feel like an entitled brat because you have all of the blessings in the world, but still are feeling lonely, sad, anxious, or overwhelmed, you’re not alone. You’ll never be alone. I can promise you that someone in your circle has felt the same way. And if you don’t feel comfortable reaching out to them, you can always reach out to God because He has some matches for you to light your path (or if you’re a pyrophobe, I’m sure he also carries a flashlight).