I’ve known for a long, long time how much I wanted to be a mom. But no one really prepared me for the intense amount of love, worry, excitement, and exhaustion that raising a tiny human brings with it. There have been times when I swear if I loved you any ounce more, my heart would explode. But here we are nine years later, and guess what? I love you more today than I did then. Each day, I love you more and my heart just grows and grows.
I know this past year has been an adjustment. You were my one and only, my sidekick, my focus for eight years on your own. And man, have we had some amazing times together, just the two of us. Asking you to readjust the only life you’ve known to include a little brother was a tall order, but you were up for the challenge and have sailed right into the role of big brother so smoothly. As a member of the “oldest sibling club,” need I remind you that we get something that the little ones don’t--we were exclusive members of the 1:1 mom/kid ratio? And it doesn’t matter if that lasts for a year, or in my case 11, no one can take that away from you.
When we came home from the hospital with your little brother, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I know we weren’t gone that long, but surely, you had to have grown in that week. There’s no way you were that size when we left. It was probably just the comparison of staring down at his tiny, little head and then looking at your gigantic melon when we returned. But still, I got weepy and it wasn’t just the hormones, because it seems like just yesterday when you were that small and I’m not sure how we got here so fast.
On the other hand, it feels like I’ve known you forever. I can hardly remember what life was like before I was your mom. It feels like I was destined to be yours and you to be mine. Like me, your dad, your brother and you are just a small four-piece puzzle that fill each other's shortcomings with our personal strengths and we make one, big, beautiful picture now.
I’m so proud of the little man you’ve become. Sure, you have your typical boy moments, with tantrums from time to time and a little backtalk like you’re nine going on 13, but from the beginning, ever since I can remember your personality developing, you’ve been kind to others and wise beyond your years. It’s not easy being a police officer kid, and it’s not easy to live with parents who want to protect you, but still be honest and make sure you understand what’s going on in the world around you. You’re one of the few kids in the world that I think could appreciate a trip to Washington, DC and stand quietly understanding the importance and respect of the changing of the guard at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. But that’s one thing I love about you. You can be crazy and off the wall one moment, but understanding and respectful the next.
I can’t wait to see what year nine brings for you. But at the same time, I can wait, because these past years have flown by, so maybe we can try to slow down the time between now and when you turn 10. You have so many adventures ahead, kid. I just know you’re going to change the world, just like you changed me.
Comments
Post a Comment