It’s been a rough few days. Husband has been working extra due to training and COVID shortages,
and it’s just been me and the two kids. Aiden was getting cranky, which is the sure sign that he’s ready for a nap, so I hopped up and paced around the downstairs of our house to get him to sleep. Within 10 minutes, he was out. I had two options. I could take him to his crib, get some stuff done around the house, and finally have a little “me time” to read for a while, or I could keep him in my arms and let him sleep. I chose the latter. While I laid in Austin’s bed (my bed was taken by my sleeping husband after his night shift), I rubbed Aiden’s back and felt how tiny he was. He’s so much bigger than he was when we brought him home, but he’s still so small. He’s fighting a cold, too, so I listened to his much louder than normal breaths in and out.
I know it’s important to put him in his crib, for self-soothing purposes, for independence, and for me to have some normalcy in my life, because I am not a human Moby wrap. But I also have the luxury of experience, being a second time mom, and even more, the luxury of knowing how fast time goes by.
There’s a lot of downsides to having kids so far apart in age, but there are a lot of bonuses, too. Sure, we started completely over, but having only one kid in diapers and drinking formula at a time is definitely a financial savior. Like I said though, the real bonus is I know how fast a little 5 lb 11 oz baby grows to a 72 lb eight-year-old. It’s like the blink of an eye. Parents before me warned, “it goes by so fast.” But when you’re in the thick of it, waking up multiple times a night, wiping butts, or sobbing to yourself in the shower (no? Just me?) it feels like time is dragging. Before you know it, they said, the kids are grown, leaving the memories behind and the longing of wishing if you just knew back then that these people were telling the truth.
Well, I didn’t have to wait for my kids to grow up to realize it. There are times from Austin’s early years that I definitely didn’t appreciate at the time because I felt like I was drowning, or that I couldn’t wait until he could have conversations with me, or play baseball, etc., etc. But since Austin was eight when I had Aiden, I already knew how fast time goes, how quickly that little needy baby is rolling his eyes at you because even though you think you’re a cool mom, you’re still a mom, so you already have lost cool points.
So, mamas, hold them a little longer. Read more books. Sing Cocomelon songs (even if you’re annoyed and as bad at singing as I am) to them. Before you know it, they will be sassy, little independent smarty pants who no longer need to sit in their Bumbo on the floor of the bathroom while you take a potty break of your own (praise!). But let’s be honest, oftentimes, they’ll still hover outside the door because inevitably, no one ever needs anything until you try to have a moment to yourself, even if they walk right by Dad to come find you.
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