It has taken days for me to even begin to put into words what I’ve been feeling. I’m hurting, outraged and embarrassed. I have talked to Austin a few times already in his short life about what racism is. We’ve talked about it educationally while reading books about Jackie Robinson, Martin Luther King, Jr., and Rosa Parks. We’ve talked about it in relationship to current events. He may only be 7, but he knows when something is up, and I don’t want to hide my emotions or feelings from him. Every single time we have discussed it, he seems so confused about why it is even a thing. And I love that about him, about children in general. They do not look at skin color and say, “Yeah, I don’t want to be play with you because you’re different.” They just play with each other; they are smart, so they know they look different from each other, but they don’t care---they just want to play with someone. The first 7 or so years of my life, I lived in a predominately black community and my mom raised me to understand that people have differences---different skin colors, different cultures, different religions, but that was a good thing. She never once told me to be “color blind” and I appreciate that from her. Because it taught me as a young person that we should embrace the differences, not be concerned, or scared of them. I’ve treated everyone with the same love and equality as I was always taught to do, but I know that is not enough.
Recently though, I’ve realized I’ve misunderstood in the past about my privilege and what black lives matter is all about, but I’m focused on educating myself and being the best person that I can be, for everyone. Maybe I’m not posting meaningless memes or statements that I have no intent to back up with action like a lot of the “look at me, look at me” people, but there have been deep, hard conversations in my household, with family, with friends and lots of looking into resources and information about what my role in this movement is.
I see just how far away from Jesus we are. John 13:34 tells us that we must love one another, just has Jesus has loved us. And boy, are we failing at that.
Y’all know how I feel about the Parable of the Lost Sheep. I saw this circulating on social media recently:
Jesus in Luke 15
100 Sheep, but one goes missing.
Jesus leaves the 99, and goes after the one.
The 99: “But…what about us? Don't we matter?”
Of course the 99 still matter, but they are not the ones in danger.
The one is.
Choose Love
We cannot choose how others behave. We have no control over other people. Sure, we can institute laws and make arrests and demand change. We absolutely can use our voices for that. But at the end of the day, you cannot change another person’s heart. You can educate, you can argue, but it is up to that person to soften their heart and choose kindness and love. We can punish people who treat others unjustly or unfairly, but it does not necessarily lead to a changed person. WE can choose love and kindness for ourselves; we can speak up when things don’t seem right. We can pray to see the change in their hearts. In Galatians 3:26–28, Paul wrote, “In Christ Jesus you are all sons of God, through faith. For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” Paul got it way back then. Why can’t we get it right in 2020?
Social Media influence
Some people are finally listening, finally seeing, finally taking a stand and because they don’t say exactly what people want them to say or they aren’t moving fast enough, they are being invalidated. Some people are for the first time accepting they have privilege, that racism is alive and well and has been since the beginning of time. Sad that it’s taken this long? Absolutely. Excusable? No. But the conversation has been started and instead of encouraging, people are discouraging. This is the moment. The floor is yours. I’ve read that it is not Black America’s job to educate White people on racism and privilege and that is absolutely correct. It is on us individually to do the research ourselves and to seek out Black voices and listen. But if people are putting it out there, I think it would be more helpful to share resources that personally have been helpful rather than just cut each other down. I think I have been very naïve about the purpose of social media.
I think it’s great that videos have gone viral that have been the catalyst for change, but I also think that some posts get shared that are meaningless words to be part of a “trend.” I did participate in the #blackouttuesday because I wanted to show my support, but I also posted a caption to mine that included some of my thoughts. I think the #8cantwait viral message is unresearched and a waste of time and resources that could be allocated elsewhere. That’s of course, just my opinion. Most departments already do most of not all of those eight recommendations and even with the policies intact, these brutal and unnecessary situations are still happening. What we need is not only a change of heart (obviously), but we need to fight for better hiring standards, more training for de-escalation, and fight against negligent retention. How about have law enforcement be part of the conversation, too? Again, isn’t that what we want from each other? To be heard?
Wrapping it Up
I know there will be people who read this and think that I still just don’t get it. Maybe they are right. All I know is that I have always supported people based on their character and not what they look like, what religion the practice, or anything else. Humans are humans, plain and simple. And we all deserve equal treatment. The Bible tells us to love our neighbor. There’s no asterisk. There’s no exceptions. We are all equal in the eyes of God. I can only work to educate myself to understand my privilege, speak up when there is wrong being done and advocate for change. I can pray for softened hearts, I can pray for change and understanding. During this time, we need to extend more grace to one another. Don’t assume that just because someone isn’t sharing every meme they come across that they don’t support the Black community or believe that Black Lives Matter. We all respond in different ways and as long as we’re making changes progressively, isnt’t that what counts? In Ephesians 4:2, Paul wrote to “be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” It may have taken way too long for people to start to listen, but it seems like they finally are, so let’s continue to love one another, work together for change. Hundreds of years of this isn’t just going to be undone in two weeks. It’s easy for me to say all of this because I’m White, sure. But for the first time, a lot of people (myself included at times) are finally realizing just that.
If you have comments or questions or wish to share resources with me or any of my (2) readers, feel free to do so. <3
xoxo, Amber
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